Hanoi, Vietnam

I have changed the comments option again to allow anyone to post an entry. We'll just have to put up with some spam.

Ok, we're finally out of China. We flew from Beijing in the north of China to Nanning in the south yesterday. Nanning is known for its canine cuisine, but because we stuffed around trying to get money and a place to sleep we couldn't be bothered trying dog kabab. We left early this morning on a train bound for Pingxiang near the border. Apparently train conductors don't get paid enough, because he came up and down the aisle trying to flog indestructable socks. To show they were indestructable he repeatedly stabbed them with sharpened chopsticks and a wire brush. I mean, he really went for it in the stabbing department. So much so that he put a hole in the sock. Everyone laugh and proceeded to buy 3 pairs each. Am i missing something?

Anyway, we got to Pingxiang at lunch time, and got a motocycle taxi to the border for 20 yuan (3AUD) (bargained down from 40 yuan, and we still got cheated). Met a nice brit couple on the vietnam side and shared a taxi to Lang Son for 6USD. Then we got a mini bus to Hanoi, which by the time we arrived had been filled to the gills. Nineteen people in a bus for 12. And apparently the locals don't have to pay. Well they wouldn't once we (the 4 foreigners) paid 100 yuan each! He wouldn't bargain because he said the office set the price. I laughed and he laughed as well. At least we all know the score. At least the hostel is cheap, we're paying 3USD each...and with free internet and fruit. Fruit, i tell you!

Already we've had the best Pho Bo (beef soup) ever next door. The end.

Beijing

Still in Beijing. Two days ago we went to the summer palace, built around a huge lake. Everything was old there. Ming the merciless and co were very busy building palaces and shit hundreds of years ago, whilest the English, French and whoever else at the time, burnt them all down again. And then then built them up again. The end.

Yesterday we went to the Great Wall. This was no thanks to Lonely Planets guide to China, which was (and has been in the past) completely wrong with regards to the info given on how to get there. In fact, it was so wrong, i scribbled out the writing on the front, and wrote 'The Wrong guide to China'. Then i burnt it in Tianamein Square whilst dancing a jig. This was of course a dream i had last night. Anyway we got to the wall, and it made all the shit we've gone through, and the constantly getting ripped off, worth while. You should come to China just to see the wall.

To top off the day we had Peking duck for dinner. You even get a authenticity certificate with the duck. We have number 87030. THE best peking duck ever. This reminds me of the friend of ours who ate an entire peking duck by himself in 1 sitting. He knows who he is.

Today went to see pickled Mao, the corpse of Mao Zedong. Of course, this didn't work out, as nothing in this country seems to, as they wouldn't allow us inside with a camera (they spotted it under Tham's jacket!). No need to mention to the stupid red guard that our camera is quite large, and that the thousands of people streaming past him could be loaded to the hilt with miniture cameras, and mobile phones. Get out of the 80's man, i say!
Anyway, Tham saw the rotting stinking zombie corpse that is Mao (I'm not bitter). She reckons he looks about as real as a Mr Potato Head, if Mr Potato head was dressed in one of those snazzy communist jump suits.

On the way out we met this nice fella from Adelaide. He overheard me yell to the wind '...damn this effing Lonely Planet, its wrong again...'. Completely unaided from us, he proceded to tell us that Lonely planet was wrong on multiple occasions. He had also crossed out the title on the cover with the words 'WRONG'. We laughed, and then we stopped. He also had be ripped off constantly since arriving in China, but to more of an extent than us. We laughed again. As we were chatting, there was a man sitting on a wall nearby, going hell-for-leather hocking up as much phlegm i have ever seen come from a human being. He was thoughful enough to save the oysters in a little plastic bag, which by the end of the conversation, was full. Nice.
Sorry about the long entry today, but you'll get over it.

The aforementioned wall. Big.

The aforementioned peking duck. Enough said.

Tham's pick of piccies

Right here are my picks of some photos which hopefully the Chinese government won't ban through the firewall.

Handle on a vat in the Forbidden City which they used to boil people. No no true.

This is a pic of a pic of Mr Mao.

In most Chinese cities they have a Bell Tower (which has bells) and a Drum Tower (which has drums). This one is in Xian and it's real swell!

They love topiary in China, can't you tell? It's so good I can't even tell what these two figures are.

This is the farmer man who discovered the terracotta soldiers whilst digging for a well. He doesn't like being photographed and is now signing books (after being taught how to write his name which took 3 years). What a cheek!

In the Eastern gate of the wall of Xian (the city is surrounded by a wall which is around 2000 years old give or take), there were men 'assigned' to wear ye olde Chinoise costumes.

We come from outer space... In China we do! This is us from a pedi cab. We paid 10 RMB (probably 70pence or near enough) to be cycled by a man for about 15 mins in Suzhou which is like the Venice of the east. It has canals but no Italians...

Nick having a sook at a 'garden of rememberance hall of snowing falling cedars brushing against a tiger mountain lily flower purple mountain begins' or some such translation. Suzhou

A mural outside a school in Shanghai.

Monks in training at Po Lin monastery in Lantau Island Honkers.

The 10000 Buddha temple actually has about 12000. We walked many steps to get up there in the heat to pray to the god of long eyebrows.

There was a Sumo Wrestling Comp at Vegas and I was lucky enough to meet two of them. I got to practice my Japanese too- I said Thanks in japanese!

Freemont St in Vegas - Downtown. This is where it all started!

This is one of my favourite cities in the world. New York. This is the view looking down from the Empire state Building at sunset. We have been up the Millenium Wheel london, St Pauls London, Eiffel tower, CN tower, Jinmao tower, Stratosphere in Vegas, KL tower, Victoria Peak in Honkers, Sydney tower, hell even Telecom tower in Canberra but nothing beats the view from the Empire. New York is a beautiful city, what more can I say?

Beijing town land

Well, you know what i said before about us taking train? Well, we didn't. I'm a lying liar. Its a long story, but we ended up missing the effing train. In China, they have this system at train stations where everyone waits in a massive waiting room and they call the people in when the train is ready to go. This is probably because you'd have around 3 million people waiting on the platform, most of them falling onto the track and being ground into mush by an oncoming train. Anyway, we were waiting and they didn't call for our train, or maybe they did, but we can't understand chinese, can we. At this point we were ready to kick some stray dogs, if they hadn't already been eaten, so we decided to get a flight to Beijing instead. It worked out alright because we got a really cheap flight, which only took 2 hours instead of the intended 2 days by train!

We've been to the Imperial Palace today. Not much to tell you other than the fact that locals don't pay as much as foreigners to enter. Rort! Thats the thing about this country, they take every opportunity to try and cheat foreigners. And, when they get found out and you argue, they get pissed off. Its like their god given right to cheat you or something...anyway <>

Apparently there's a Starbucks actually inside the Palace! A lot of money passed in hands in the deal! We couldn't find it though...

The Imperial palace itself...according to the info onsite, they place was burnt down like a hundred times and rebuilt.

This is some chinese break dancers in Xian. Err, yeah. I was doing this shit when i was 11 in 1982 to music from Electric Boogaloo! The picture is of a guy sliding around on his arse. Nice!

The terracotta warriors just out of Xian. Nothing funny here, move along.

Xian

Well, we have been having all sorts of trouble getting a train from Xian to Beijing. Trains get booked up days in advance in China. Anyway, with a little help from Bob, from Bob's guesthouse, we have sorted it out, but it means we will stay in Ping Yao for 2 days instead of just one. Ping Yao is an ancient Chinese village (aren't they all!), with ancient people (maybe...). Anyway, this leaves us just 3 days in Beijing to obtain a visa for Vietnam.

Btw we still can't view the actual blog, because of the chinese firewall. They also block the BBC site, and all their subversive capitalistic pig-dog ways...

Last night we went into the Muslim quarter of Xian, where they have hundreds of food stalls in the street, and you can eat basically everything. I'm sure i ate some sort of pigs innards, but i can't be sure. I don't want to know.

Yesterday, we saw the terracotta warriors. It was awsome etc. This is the thing to see in China. We also saw a bunch of other stuff. The End.

Catching a train at 2 which will take 9 hours.

Shanghai

We're leaving Shanghai (or, as i like to call it, Stinkytown) and flying to Xian today.

If you are thinking of coming to Shanghai and have respirtory problems, don't. Apparently China has 7 out of the 10 most polluted cities in the world, and i think Shanghai must be up there. The chinese are proud that they are world leaders. A couple of days ago you couldn't see the buildings across the other side of the river (approx 1 km), for the smog.

Shanghai

Still here although we'll be leaving tomorrow. Tham is a bit crook at the moment, so she is watching a couple DVD's we picked up around the corner for around 30 pence each (0.70 AUD). The man said they were legit and i believe him.

So far we have been to the top of the 4th biggest building in the world, and yesterday we went on a day trip to somewhere i can't remember the name of, but we saw a olden day gardens and buildings and stuff which survived the cultural revolution.

I still can't see the actual blog because of the blocking...i will have to find a way around it...anyway here are some pics. (If you don't know, you can actually click on the pictures below to get a bigger version to open up)

This is the olden day thing, which is located somewhere in China.

Hong Kong: This is the largest sitting brass buddah in the world, not to be confused with the largest standing brass buddah, the largest sitting stone buddah, or the largest standing stone buddah in the world. Sorry about the bum with the long hair who slipped into the pic.

Here is a lady i picked up somewhere in Honkers...she was very accommodating, if you know what i mean, nudge nudge wink wink

This is an old pic from the grand canyon. It was nice. The Grand Canyon that is.

Thats all for now.

This Blog

I can't view the the actual blog at the moment because the chinese govt has decided to censore all blogs. Nice. There is a man in a suit staring at me, gotta go.

Shanghai

We got into Shanghai last night and after a longish journey into town, found a hotel off the main touristic street. I don't know much about beds, but i do know that they shouldn't be manufactured from concrete and covered in stain covered cloth. You should also not wake from aforementioned sleeping receptical with a fractured spine.

We moved from Hotel Dodgey, and this is the view from the roof of the new hostel (Captain hostel)...not too bad. The tall building to the right of the moon is the fourth biggest in the world.

This is a sample of some of the culinary delights that awaits you in Shanghai ( Dumpling filled with the ovary and digestive glands of a crad). I have no idea what a Crad is, but it scares me.

Today we went to the Communist Party Museum, which was apparently designed to highlight the CPC. When i read the following line '...and the glorious people of the revolution defeated the capitalist pig dogs...' i knew this was no ordinary museum. Anyway we made it out of there alive.

Anyway, this dumb computer has stopped downloading pictures for now, i will ahve do do it later. Hey, what do i know about computers...

Leaving today

Well, we have planned our china trip now, we leave today for Shanghai. We picked the tickets up from a place called Austin Towers, and we went up in a lift maintained by Schindlers Lifts....oh well, i found it funny.

Thats all for now

still in honkers

Today we're going to sort out a visa for Vietnam, which may or may not be a hassle. We got our Chinese visa yesterday, and we are still trying to work out where we are going. The likely itinery will be Beijing, Xian, Shanghai and then down to Vietnam.

Right, we're off to have some yum cha for breakfast, yum. Very cheap. Yesterday it only cost us around 55HKD (~4 GPB/10AUD)!

We might goto Hong Kong Disneyland for a laugh...

Honkers

We're currently in Honkers (Hong Kong to you plebs)

On the last day in Vegas we went on a couple of roller coasters, including the highest rollercoaster in the world (on top of the Stratosphere), had a picture taken with a couple of Sumo wrestlers, and then we saw Ice Cube filming his latest rap on the street. This was indeed revolutionary for a rap artiste to include Vegas lights, a pimp mobile, and fat bottomed ladies, so i, if not Tham, feel priveliged to have witnessed this event.

From Vegas we flew to LA, then to Taiwan, and then onto Honkers. As you can guess with a flight with so many stops, it was pretty cheap. What made it even cheaper was the fact that they had an Adam Sandler movie playing. If you have an oppotunity to watch the remake of 'Longest Yard', be sure to stab your eyes out first.

Anyway, we're now in Kowloon and its been quite hot, around 36 degrees. Yesterday, i think i may have been quite tired, as i fell asleep at 3pm and woke up 17 hours later! Tham only managed a meesley (sp) 14 hours.

I swear i must be cursed or look stupid (or both). There are these geezers (all Indian) that hang around on the streets of Hong Kong who seem to think that i need a watch and/or a tailor made suit. Even when they see me ignore their mate who is standing 10 metres from them, they will still ask. Hangon, yes mate, i think what you have will something completely different and original from Mr Man i just passed, so let me have a look...not. I blame society, as i do for most things. Its easier that way, and then i don't feel i have to stab Mr Man in the heart with a biro.

We pick up our passports from mission control tomorrow, hopefully with a visa for China in them, and not a piece of dried fish as i suspect. Anyway, i'm getting tired.....................pleease comment, as i value the aforementioned comments. If you want to commment, but can't, then let me know and i will give you access.

Day 110 Las Vegas

You would not believe how hard it is to find a internet cafe! Even in the land that invented the effing supernet thingy!

Anyway, i need to update on the NYC.

Well, we stayed 6 nights in the YMCA westside. I'll have to be quick cause we don't have much time. Here is what we did:

Day 1, Times Sq, Sacks, Trump tower, Tiffanys (a boring shopping day...)
Day 2, NBC studio tour, Radio City Hall Tour, Whitney Museum of modern Art (not related to Whitney Brown-Housten), Guggenheim Museum (Kadinsky etc), walk in Central park and zoo, Sunset at Empire state blding, Chowder for dinner. Also walked through a movie set (A movie called 'Host' starring Richard Gere).....we were knackered after this day, i can tell you.
Day 3, Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, Madam Tussauds, China town (Recall movie 'Big trouble in Little China starring Kurt Russell)
Day 4, Queued for Conan Obrien show but didn't get in. Went to ground zero, Wall St, Grand central station, Chrysler blding, Soho, Nolita, Katz deli (recall movie 'When harruy met sally' orgasm scene)...Soup Nazi (Seinfeld), went to Broadway show 'Sweet Charity' starring Christina Applegate ('Married with children tv show) and 'Newman' from seinfeld.
Day 5, Queued for Conan O'Brien a bit earlier this time and got better tix...this time we got in!! Mathew McConnerhay (sp) was on and we got some audience tshirts. American Museum of Natural history.
Day 6, Met Museum of Art, FAO Scharwz (recall movie 'Big' tom hanks jumping on the giant piano), Caught plane to Vegas....6 hours late!!! if thats possible....

Vegas Day 1, write off because we got in at 3am
V Day 2, Grand Canyon and Hoover Dam....majestic wild majesty etc etc

Today: Cleaned clothes in the free laundry.

Oh btw, we're staying at the Stratosphere which has a massive tower and rollercoaster rides at the top. Food is very cheap here and it shows in the size of the people. Anyway have to go, we're having dinner with Wayne Newton, Danke se.

p.s Contrary to rumours, we didn't get married in Vegas.
p.p.s off to Honkers tomorrow to begin the asian leg

Back Again...now in New York

Ok ok, i know that we haven't posted anything for a while, but its been a bit difficult (suprisingly) to find a net cafe in NY!

Anyway the story continues...

We stayed in London for a couple days and then went down to Bogner. Not much to report here other than we tried to relax and do a few last minute administration type things before we left the UK for good.

We flew out of Gatwick onto Toronto. You may or not know that a couple of years ago we went to the west coast of Canada, so when we touched down this time, we were treated like deadset locals. We visited the CN tower, which is the tallest thingy in the woooorld, and then had some YumCha (dim sum) at the local china town.

From here we went by train 2 hours to Niagra Falls. Think of a small version of Las Vegas and you have an idea of what Niagra. Did all the usual things like walking behind the falls and the maiden in the mist boat thing.

We then travelled nearly 12 hours by train to get to NY...

...have to continue this story a bit later...