Ko Phi Phi

Ah, living the jetset life...thats us, deadset jetsetters.

We've left the non tranquil waters of Koh Samui and hit the pleasantness that is Ko Phi Phi. As i'm typing, i can see the island they used for the movie 'The Beach' starring Leonardo Di Caprio etc. I'm thinking of swimming there, not. They're serving the shark that ate the swedes in the aforementioned movie, for dinner tonight.

Question: Why do backpacker places always play Bob Marley? I don't think anyone of the current backpacker age, would listen to Bob Marley by choice, would they? Every time i walk past one such establishment, i stick my fingers in my ears and start screaming. Sometimes i even smack my head and scream, Rainman-style.

Tomorrow, i think i will continue my tradition of jumping of cliffs, when we go on a cliff jumping tour. Oysters pending of course.

Leaving...probably

Ok, the rain has stopped a bit now, and the flood waters have receded. We're going to get a ferry off this gosh-forsaken heck-hole, and then get a bus to Krabi. We'll have to walk along the beach to get out i think.

Koh Samui

Well the first day here was great, we even managed to get a suntan. The past two days though, its been raining constantly, to the point where its flooded out the front of the hotel, and we're stuck here. Not only are we stuck in the hotel, but we're stuck on the island as well, as the ferries and planes have been cancelled. Not sure when we'll be moving...maybe we'll have to stay here forever. Surf is suprisingly good and the water temperature is actually warmer than the air temp. Thats all for now.

We also waited 2 hours for dinner tonight.

Koh Samui

We're staying in a resort on the beach, not that expensive, but we'll be going to Koh Phan Gan tomorrow for somewhere a bit cheaper.

The hotel is filled Germans, and i swear, they all have mullets and look like they're from Europe (the band, not the place). There is acually some surf, so i got out there and showed the pastey europeans how its done. It was hot and sunny yesterday, but today its hot and cloudy. The end.

A note to the geeks: I'm currently using a computer with Windows Me! I feel violated....

Comments

Hey you lazy buggers, post some comments! You have been warned.

You do know that you don't need to login now to post a comment, do you?!

Thailand continued...

Ok, the story left off when we were in Siem Reap (Angkor Wat).

We only toured the temples for 1 day which, in my opinion, is enough. Guide books (ie lonely planet) tells you to visit for 3 days! If you've seen 1 Tomb Raider/Indiana Jones style temple, you've seen them all.

Anyway we left the next day after staying in a relaxing place with a pool (no expense spared!), for the border town of Poipet. If you've travelled this road then you'll know what i mean when i say, it could possibly be the worst road in the world. I think there was some road in amongst the potholes but i'm not sure. Some holes were big enough to live in comfortably and our driver decided to drive as fast as he could for 4 hours with his eyes closed. All the taxi drivers who drive to the border seem to have modified Toyota Camrys. They are jacked up and fitted with heavy duty shocks.

We arrived at the border relatively unscathed and fairly early (we had beaten the bus which left at 7.30am and took 6 hours). We proceeded to wait in line for a Thai visa for exactly 2 hours. Much pushing was had. Once in Thailand we got a Tuktuk into town to catch the bus to Bangkok. The roads in Thailand are pretty good, and the driver shows this by driving at 200km an hour. We should have made pretty good time to Bangkok, but our bus decided to catch on fire. After pulling the bus apart, it was decided we had to catch the next one along. Not that much of a problem since there are millions of buses on the route to Bangkok. One hour later we managed to squeeze onto a replacment. Five hours later we were sipping cocktails by the pool on Khao San Rd!

Khao San Rd is the backpacker area of Bangkok, so therefore, its pretty oridinary (um good grammar). Yesterday we went to a huge shopping centre down the road, which sells everything you could ever need i.e DVDs, PS2 games, t-shirts. We spent most of the day there.

We're off today down to Ko Samui. We're ending our trip island hopping in Thailand, as we need a holiday.

The Story so far Part II

Service station Cambodian style...at least she put out her smoke before commencing...considerate.


The ol' tree growing out of the ancient ruins routine. Hollywood thought of this one in the 80's man. (Angkor temple, Siem Reap, Cambodia)


Part of a temple at Angkor (Wat)


'No Touch'...at first i put a couple of skulls into my backpack, you know as a keepsake, then i saw the sign. (ok ok before you send a letter bomb to my location, remember the New York Times called me '...irreverent....but always funny...', and you don't want to mess with that!)
(Killing Fields, Phenom Phen)


Lady: You have no fucking clue, do you.
Nick: No...now give me the keys. (Hoi An, Vietnam)

Photog: Stick chest out pig-dogs!
Us: Ok, mister....hey where are you going with our camera!
(US army surplus, Hue)

Hey lady, make me some incense. Thats right, i'm all outta incense and i need some made, stat!


Monks in a temple in Hue (Just after this pic was taken, they turned as one and attacked! Luckily i was up to the challenge Re trained by Jackie Chan...etc etc)

Bangkok

Ok people, sorry about the delay in posting, i know you all live to read this rubbish...

Last time you heard from us, we were in HCMC. Well, we left there (derr), after 2 nights. Not much there really just another city, and a hell of a lot of bikes. We took a bus to the border. We had been warned that by various idiots that there would be massive queues at the border and that we'd need to slip the guards some moolah that guarantee fast processing. Well, after driving for 3 hours we got there to find bugger all people and one of the quickest entries ever (5-10 minutes). We thought, yeahh, who said this trip would take 12 hours!! We were told to wait on the other side of the border for the bus to come an pick us up. As a bit of background info, there are several types of buses which you can catch. The govt ones (if they exist) are cheap, relatively confortable and don't stop that much. The other type, are the private minibuses, run by guesthouses. They are more expensive, they stop every half hour at food place usually owned by the gustehouse, are jammed to the brim, and they usually drive as slow as possible. If the bus has A/C, they won't use it. The excuse we got the other day was: 'We turning off the air con because its hot outside and you will get sick going from the cold to the hot whe you get out'...eh?! Whatever.

Anyway, we waited for the bus to show for an hour. Then a guy says that the bus won't go for another hour because they wait for more people. I was about to pistol-whip the guy, but then i remembered that i don't actually have a pistol. I took a walk down the road and found the bus hiding around the corner. Sneaky.

We got to Phenom Phen in record slow time, and the bus dropped us off at their guesthouse. After they begged us to stay there, we said nup, seeya later losers....then i firebombed the place for good measure. We actually stayed around the corner in a very nice place run by Scandanavians. Not much to say about Phenom Phen, because we didn't actually do that much. Oh yeah, we went to S21 which is the place where Pol Pot and Co tortured and killed people. We also went to the Killing Fields, where Pol Pot and Co killed thousands of people and chucked them in shallow graves. A good time was had by all!
From Phenom Phem we took another bus to Siem Reap. This one only took 6 hours, a deadset record. This was a govt bus, so it actually did the opposite to a guesthouse bus and didn't stop at all! Road in Cambodia are bad. I mean they are really bad. The only sealed road is from Phenom Phen to Siem Reap. The rest are dirt.

Siem Reap is the town closest to Angkor Wat, the largest religious building in the world. Actually its a series of temples over a huge area. Think of Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider and you have an idea what this place is like. Not in the shape of Angelina Jolie, but the tomb rai.......oh forget it. Huge trees growing out of crumbled buildings, you get the drift.

Thats all for this installment. We're in Bangkok right now, but i tell you how we got here next time.

Ho Chi Minh City

We're currently in HCMC, which is the capital of Vietnam.

After spending 4 days relaxing by the pool/beach in Hoi An, we flew in yesterday. The traffic here is even worse than Hanoi, if that's possible. We are staying in the backpacker area of HCMC. I think we're going to get a massage later on because its very cheap here...something like 2 USD for an hour. We're getting a bus outta here tomorrow...8 hours to Phnom Phen: nice. No one seems to know how much the visa into Cambodia is going to be. Severeal tourist places have quoted anywhere from 20 to 30 USD. I think the border guys are charging what they like...we'll see.

Not much has happened really...or nothing interesting. I am reading all the comments, but i can't respond to them yet.

As you where.

Hoi An

We took a bus yesterday from Hue to Hoi An. Here is waht happened.
Get up at 6.30am
Waiting for bus outside hotel at 8am
Man rides past on moto at 8.30am and says to wait on street.
Mini van comes and picks us up from street at 8.45am and takes us to the bus office.
Wait at office until 9.15am, then another man says wait on street.
We can see the bus 100m away down the street, but takes a further 15mins to get to where we are.
Finally get on bus at 9.30am, then wait a further 20 minutes as driver has a smoke, a cup of tea and chat with his mates.
Leave Hue at 9.50am nearly 2 hours late.
We drive for 1 hour before we stop for a break. Breakstop is owned by Bus company.
Driver says we will leave in 30 minutes. One hours later we get going.
We drive another 20 minutes and stop in Denang for 15 minutes while 2 passengers get on and the driver has another smoke, another cup of tea, and a chat with mates.
We get going again, this time we only drive for 10 minutes before we stop for another break. I think the driver wants a piss for all the tea he's drunk at previous stops. Driver say's we'll leave in 30 minutes. No one believes him this time and stays near bus.
Forty five minutes later we leave the tourist stop (where you could buy marble stautes and other shit).
We drive a further 30 minutes and finally arrive at Hoi An at 2pm in the afternoon. I stab the driver in the heart and go on my way.

...what can you expect for 2 bucks each...

Today, we ordered some tailor made clothes which we pick up in 2 days. At around a tenth of the cost of making stuff in western countries its a pretty good deal.

Off to the pool now, and then to the beach.

Hue again

I enjoy reading the comments a lot, although i can't respond to them all, because my arms are paralyzed...not really, its because vietnam doesn't allow me to.

Yesterday i forgot to mention that we went to the beach which is about 20 minutes away by moto. We got there and we paid some dude so we could sit on the deck chairs. Anyway, about 10 minutes later this other dude comes up and demands money for the sitting. I thought, here we go. Tham immediately starts screaming and swearing at the guy (because she's been cheated one too many times), who shits himself but sits on the sand waiting for an outcome. Anyway, keeping a level head i sort out the situation. Thats right, i'm the hero...me i tell you! Apparently the guy we gave the money to originally didn't actually own the chairs, but the ones next door. He was doing the sly on his neighbour. Anyway, we left those two to sort it out amongst themselves, vietnamese stylie i.e a bit of pushing and the like. Personally I would prefer a cage fight, but then thats just me.

Today we went on a moto tour around Hue for 5 bucks each. We saw heaps of temples and shit.

Tomorrow we leave for Hoi An and a bit of R&R on the beach.

some pics

'You buy from meeee?'....no i don't think so


Rancid meat, probably raccoon, in a bowl...just another day in Vietnam (Pho Bo in Hanoi...actually the best tasting meal you can get in the world for 10000 Dong)


Argg, send a medic... (Halong Bay)

(umm, i couldn't come up with a better one than that sorry. If you do, then please right in the comments)



The utterly ugly place that is SaPa...

Hue

We got into Hue last night, and after getting the hotels to fight for our business, we eventually got a room with A/C for 6USD. I think we're in a low season here, but i don't know why because its hot as buggery (35c) and 100% humidity.

One thing i have to mention about Vietnam, and it completely gets on my goat, is the cost of washing your clothes. Uniformly, so far, it costs 1USD/kg all across vietnam. To put that into context, we pay more to wash our clothes than 1 nights accommodation for 2 people. It costs more to wash your clothes that in europe and the US! This is completely riding my goat to market, as they say. (not sure who, but they say it trust me).

Off to the beach now.

comments

I can read the blog and comments again. I don't know why i didn't think of this earlier, but i used a anonymous proxy to access the site (http://anonymouse.ws/)...

Now uncle Ho Chi Minh can't see what i'm up to...muhahahahahhaha

Back in HaNoi

We're back in HaNoi after the overnight train. Didn't get much sleep, so we couldn't be bothered taking another overnight bus or train to Hue. We actually got flights leaving today for 50USD! This is a bit more than the bus and the train, but who cares, we're rich foreigners...sort of.

SaPa still

Sapa is the place you see on ads for Vietnam, with the rice terraces etc, and locals dressed in traditional garb. Well, we went for a 5 hour trek today around the villages with our guide Sar. It was very nice. On the way back we caught some moto taxis because we couldn't be arsed walking another few hours. The bike i got, i swear the driver downed a pint before we left,he smelt like a brewery. That, or he just popped into the local pub for a pint or three. What do you expect for 40,000 Dong (1.5GBP or 4AUD) for a 20minute trip. Anyway, after giving a small offering to the safety god in my pants, and turning my cap backwards in a vain attempt to make it look like a helmet at least, we took off. We all made it back alive. The end.

Tonight we catch an overnight train back to Hanoi, then we're off to Hue which is somewhere in the middle of vietnam. Hopefully Typhoon Ken will have completely cleared by then, and we can actually sit on the beach for a bit.

I can't view the bloody blog again, the vietnam govt has got a stupid firewall in the way. Keep writing comments, i will view them later in Cambodia or something. Me and my subversive ways....

Sa Pa, North Vietnam

We have been in HaNoi for a couple of days. We went to the Hanoi Hilton, not to be confused with the Bangkok Hilton which is the same sort of thing. It's now a museum which shows how the imperalist french incarcerated many comrads of the vietnamese communist party. Later the communists incarcerated the imperalist American pilots shot down in the American War (Vietnam War). Then we went to the Literature museum, which is actually a temple to Confusious. Nothing noteworthy here apart from the fact that i fed the fish in the pond with a metal lock. Long story, but the lock on the backpack fell into a pond and clocked a fish on the noggin. The other fish then decided to eat the 'clocked' fish. Yum.

Around the corner from the Literature museum is a market that sells dog, skinned and ready to eat. I like to think that they only eat the evil dogs, you know, like Hitlers dog, and dogs that eat kittens for breakfast.

Then went on a 3 day tour of Halong Bay. Basically it rained the whole time until we stepped off the boat, and then it was completely fine. Apparently we got caught in a typhoon, which we named 'Ken'. There were some ladies on the boat, think of Kath and Kim and you have an idea what they were like. Corrine's daughter had a baby recently and decided to name it, and i'm not joking, 'Tygah-Maie' (Tiger-May). Um, yeah.

A couple we also met on the boat were pregnant, and in fine tradition, have decided to name their kid 'Tifooon-Kyn' to commemorate typhoon Ken.

Currently we are in the mountains of SaPa. Thats all.